The View

Ahead; that’s where it feels like the ‘solution’ lies. The next step (not where I am). Tomorrow (not today). Another person (not you). Somewhere else (not here). The alternate scene in my head (not reality).

Is it any wonder, then, that this grasping forward always leaves one empty-handed?

I am trying to teach the palm of my hands to close upon what I do have. Not to keep it (we own nothing; but that’s another train of thought). But to experience it being there, like I am being here. I am trying to teach my soul to sit still in the shell where it resides, and learn to make it home (for a while). To kiss sensation against the weight of bones as if to finally say, all right, I will hold you till you die. I will not fight this being alive.

I am learning to carry the grief instead of running from it.

Give truth the spotlight; come out of parenthesis. Out of subtext. And live directly into now.

I used to think it was true what they said: like attracts like. What you think is what you get. Think it, and it will be so. And it all seemed to work.
For a little while.

Polishing the outside, making up a face, putting on a smile, wearing the attitude—all these things are necessary at times. But if you never stopped to also clean out the inside, all that decoration is only added weight on a surface starting to crack from a lack of something fundamental. The brightest décor is useless on a foundation giving way.

You are not weak to have stopped. There is distinction between premonition and fear. You didn’t think this into existence. If anything, you simply avoided a greater disaster.

And if that truth can change so easily with perspective, maybe truth never had a single face. And if it has many faces, then there must be many points of view to it.

Which one is yours?